Decode

On this day, God wants you to know
... that today is a big day for you. Yes, today. Keep your eyes open for a message. It might come in a shape of a bird flying overhead, or a graffiti on a wall, or a phrase said by a passerby, or... Whatever shape it has, this message has been trying to reach you for years, and today is finally the day. Keep your senses open.

That facebook application is really a source of inspiration. Upon reading the message, I realized a few things.

[Today is my Intravenous Therapy Training's completion of cases where you are required to perform three IV push, three IV insertion (in layman's term and in Filipino's term, dextrose), and one blood transfusion. It may sound pretty easy to complete those because it totals to only seven procedures. I guess yes, we completed the cases but sadly, in reality, it depends on luck to be able to perform the procedures to a patient and if you're lucky enough, the only thing you can do is to assist in the procedure.]

Early this morning, I was feeling so lazy to get up and I was overwhelmed with the feeling of I-will-not-be-a-nurse-yet tantrums. I feel like I still need to get back to sleep but I need to move because I will be meeting my co-trainee by 7am. I readied and dressed up with my immortal attire, my white clinical uniform in combo with my white stockings and shoes. I left still feeling passive.

Arriving at the hospital where we trained for our Intravenous Therapy, I still feel sluggish and unenthusiastic. What was just running in my mind was to copy all the necessary data and storm out of the hospital and get a sleep. We arrived at the nursing office and reported to the management. We filled out the completion sheets with our names and license numbers then we were asked to report to the ward on the third floor to get our effortless cases.

Arriving at the ward, I was perplexed with its sophistication and its delicate fixtures and appropriate decorations. The ward was spacious, clean, well ventilated, and conducive to working. I was astonished because of the elegance and simplicity of the area and running at the back of my mind was the comparison between this hospital and the hospital I rendered duty for. There was a big and major difference. Everything is neat and organized very far from the image of the hospital we used to work at. These thoughts made me doubt my capability as a nurse. Every thought goes in the pessimistic way and I do not know why. While I was filled up with negative ideas, I busied myself gathering all the data needed and I was the first one to acquire the case of the blood transfusion. While waiting for my co-trainee to fill out her sheet, I suddenly took a glimpse on the mirror. I stared at myself and suddenly, I was overwhelmed by the idea that maybe I really am meant to be a nurse.

The white uniform looks good on me exhibiting the pride marked with the propriety of an excellent nurse. As I scrutinized my image, I saw my future in front of me, still bleak but steady. Indeed, that very moment, the passion reconciled with my soul. It came back like an old friend. I was overwhelmed with the thought of what I was made of and where I was meant to be. For that moment, I realized that I still have my one foot placed on my almost forgotten passion. It feels like I am back to square one.

All this time, I am a vagabond waiting for a destination. I was like a lost soul, disturbed, awaiting for answers and truths. I was waiting for the sign that points to my designated direction. I was waiting for His timely answer. I was waiting for a long time now and I never fail to believe in Him. I know He is answering my prayers one at a time. I am happy that through this unusual and unexpected timing, He gives me a clue. He never leaves me dumbfounded. God really moves in mysterious ways and I will patiently wait for more clues because I know He is faithful to His promises. He will never leave me astray.

"First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do." - Epictetus