I have crashed my father's car, breached my job contract, received multiple threats; I was proposed with a lot of disappointing job offers; I have been unemployed for six months now; I am dependent to my parents at my supposedly productive age; I am on a frustrating and unpromising career, etc. — name it, at a young age, I have been into a lot of discouraging, disappointing, appalling, distressing events in my life. I've been caught in a lot of troubles since the start of the year. I have been scolded by my parents, got ditched by my friends when I can't afford to hang out with them, got so broke that I only had few pennies left in my purse, got so sad and helpless.
Honestly, it came to the point in my life that I was about to break down.
I felt miserable for the way things were going. I admit I made unwise decisions and got so careless. I admit I have been weak at times and I have made a lot of mistakes. All of these thoughts were haunting and eating me alive. The thoughts that I have nurtured which obliviously, were harmful to my whole being. I have been drunk with fear and I let it suck my fortitude. I was so worried and scared of what constitutes my tomorrows. I was so anxious.
But it came to the point where I became so tired with all these thoughts that were running in my mind and it came to me that there's no one to blame but myself. I am responsible for every decision and choice I make. I took responsibility.
But I was wrong on pretending I am Superwoman who can manage all things and iron them out.
I am not and definitely will never be.
All of the times that I have been insufficient and miserable, I have forgotten that the only solution to my problem is to call on to God. Many times that I have forgotten about Him during the miserable days of my life. I hid from Him and pushed Him away just because my emotions were too overwhelming. But then, God is the only One we need when things are not right. He is the only source of peace that we should cling to. God is the only One who can provide peace, calm, and inner comfort that we can never afford to have in any other way.
During the times I have been so down, I have put on a smile before everyone else and presented myself with concealed emotions, but I was hurting deep inside. I was so broken. But I clung to God and called to Him and He immediately granted me inner peace as if He was whispering to my ear, "Everything will be fine because I am your God." He is my sole source of strength, hope, and courage.
No matter how big your problems are, God is bigger than your problems. Just call on to Him and pray and peace will immediately transcend to you. Let not problems be barrier to your fellowship and relationship with God! Just pray. :)
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 4:7
3 comments:
It does get better. I speak from experience. The mistakes you're making now are there for you to learn. I know I did. And I've made quite a number of major juvenile mistakes in the past. When I remember those times, I still cringe about them and tell myself how stupid I was.
I can only really say two things to you. And I realize this is largely unsolicited advice.
1. There are people around you that obviously care for you and support you. This is namely your family. Friends can only be there for you to a certain extent because they have their own lives to lead. But your family will consistently be there. No matter how bad things get. The people close to you are there to catch you. If they weren't, then you would actually be worrying about putting a roof over your head and finding food to eat. But both of those are still provided to you by your family. You have a safety net when most a lot of people don't. Be thankful for that. And from the safety net work on being self-sufficient.
2. Looking to God for answers is all fine and good. But a lot of it rests on what you can think, feel, and do. God did not make you stupid. If you were, you wouldn't even be able to express your feeling in this blog. You would be much worse, like walking the streets begging for money or whoring yourself out. God gave you the intellect and the means for you to figure things out on your own. So rather than over-rely on God for strength and answers. Trust in God that he has imbued in you the strength and intellect to transcend your supposed woes.
I have been living alone with little or no friends or family in my life. And I have survived both emotionally and financially. I don't think I take care of myself as well as I should. But I do better than most considering my isolation. I do feel lonely and things do get tough. But I have always got it in my head that no one else will help me. I "have to" help myself. And each time I get out of a predicament on my own effort, I stand proud of that. Then I go back to God and thank him for empowering me to get through even more trials in life.
Hang in there. You're not alone. Things will get better if you believe that you yourself can get yourself out of the gutter.
Let me know how I can help.
DoS
Awwwww..... Thank you boss for the wonderful advice. I appreciate it! A very good point indeed. Thanks for lending a helping hand. It's nice to know that you have errr... your, what I think, soft side boss. LOL. Haha. :3
Anyway, things are getting better now for me. I finally landed a good job (which I'm about to blog about) and things are going well so far. Thanks for the concern.
Btw boss, congrats on your band's album launching! Yeey!! See you on Sat! :D
Well, this is me normally outside of the office. People tend to think I'm cold because I take my job seriously. I'm glad you found a good job. Told you, things would get better. :)
Di naman kayo pumunta sa album launch namin eh. I did see E there though. Ask her how it went. It was a whole lot of fun.
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